A collection of funny tree jokes, puns, and stories, as well as humor about trees, forests, nature, and the environment.
How do trees access the internet?
They log on.
What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.
Why did the pine tree get in trouble?
Because it was being knotty.
What did the trees wear to Mother Nature’s pool party?
Swimming trunks!
Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?
In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister?
Leaf me alone, birch!
Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?
It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes!
What type of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
How do you properly identify a dogwood tree?
By the bark!
What did the beaver say to the tree?
It’s been nice gnawing you!
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school.
Why do trees make great thieves?
Sticky fingers.
What is a triangle palm’s favorite school subject?
Treegonometree.
Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school?
She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
What is every single tree’s least favorite month?
SepTIMMMBERRR!
Why do trees hate tests?
Because they get stumped by the questions.
What must trees drink responsibly?
Root beer.
A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree.
*BA-DUM TSSSHH*
What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?
Tulips.
Why can’t Christmas trees sew?
They always drop their needles.
Did you know that before you became my best friend, I used to hang out with another girl every single day in her super awesome tree house?
It’s true, but unfortunately we had a falling-out.
What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?
Poultree.
Why are leaves always involved in risky business?
Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree?
Lemon aid.
Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?
They maple their brand off the shelves.
Why is the tulip the state tree of Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee?
Because they are so poplar.
Now we want to see your best tree jokes! So, what’s your favorite joke about trees, being in the woods, or gardening? Send your tree jokes to us via email if you’d like to see them featured here.
mcsorosoro@gmail.com, mcsorosoro@yahoo.com
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